The World According to Clarkson. Volume 4: How Hard Can It Be?

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  • ISBN / UPC: 9780718156749
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Jeremy Clarkson  (автор)

 

Издателство:   Michael Joseph
Език: английски език
Раздел: Мемоари, биографии, писма
Изд. група: Penguin Group
Етикет:

пътешествия

забавни книги и истории

 

Твърда корица с обложка, голям формат  |  332 стр.  |  582 гр.
(неизползвана, здрава и чиста книга в почти отлично състояние - леко захабен външен вид)

 

*

 

От вътрешната страна на обложката:

 

Once upon a time Jeremy Clarkson had a dream. A world where the nonsensical made sense, the idiotic was abolished and the sheer bloody brilliant was embraced ...

 

Three books later, three million copies sold, and the dream of The World According to Clarkson continues.

In How Hard Can It Be? our hero embarks on a quest to set the world to rights. Again.

En route he discovers:

  • How rhubarb will become the new crack
  • Teaching kung fu at a flower-arranging class
  • Speed is not a dirty word
  • School in its present form is almost completely useless
  • The one thing that is guaranteed to end anyone's quest for global domination is a comb over
  • And what unites a Filipino chambermaid in Abergavenny with Prince Andrew?

 

For anyone who's ever woken up and thought the time has come to stop the nonsense and celebrate the sensational, read on. Because seriously, how hard can it be?

 

Surprising, fearless and always laugh-out-loud funny, Clarkson is back. With dollops of humour and one heck of a vengeance.

 

Jeremy Clarkson began his writing  career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun, the Sunday Times, the Rochdale Observer, the Wolverhampton Express & Star, all of the Associated Kent Newspapers and Lincolnshire Life. Today he is the tallest person working in British television.


**

 

Contents
 
Clear off, nitwit - I'll rebuild this hospital 1
 
This has been my perfect week 5
 
It seems it ain't art if it ain't ethnic - Opinion 9
 
First, fairy cakes — then welding, kids — Opinion 12
 
Oi, state birdbrains — leave our land alone 16
 
Give it up, Hamza — you're too ugly 20
 
Skiing through the pain barrier 24
 
Bleep off, you're driving me mad 28
 
Oi, shoppers — that's my petrol 32
 
Join me in a saucy oath to Britain 36
 
Ruck off, you nancy Aussies 40
 
Time to save the world again, lads 44
 
Potato heads are talking rot on food 48
 
I'd rather hire a dog than a prostitute 52
 
Pricking science's silly sausages 55
 
Feed thgn, or they'll slash all the seats 59
 
A vicious Japanese loo ruined my ah so 63
 
Argh! I've fallen into a speed trap 67
 
It's just a dumb animal, Mr Oddie 71
 
Swim with sharks — it's easy money 75
 
Oi, get your hands off my lap dancers 79
 
Dante's new hell: my work canteen 83
 
Look, Mr McChap - you're part of Britain, so just get over it 87
 
Now we're for it: we've stopped behaving badly 91
 
Working while on holiday is . . . wow, just look at that 95
 
By 'eck, our funny accents are the envy of the world 99
 
Peep in my wife's knicker drawer and see what you get 103
 
Miss Street-Porter, I have a job for you in Cambodia 107
 
Hey, let's live fast and die when ministers tell us to 111
 
Don't let banks lose your money — do it yourself 115
 
Fingers on buzzers, you bunch of ignorant twerps 119
 
Play it my way, kids, and you'll save rock'n'roll 123
 
Ditch the laptop and suit if you wanna stay alive, Mr Corporate 127
 
Take in a prisoner as a lodger and that's two problems solved 131
 
Wake up and smell the coffee — tea is for morons 135
 
Into the breach, normal people, and sod the polar bears 138
 
The daddy of all idiots at your child's school sports day 142
 
I'm a Tigger, he's a Piglet, and you must be a Pooh 146
 
Sorry, worms, you won't be getting a piece of me 150
 
The BBC's letting loonies gag me with mink knickers 154
 
Ambulance, quick — some idiot's had a brainwave 158
 
Save the high street — ditch bad service and ugly sales girls 162
 
Ring a ring o' clipboards — we all fall down 166
 
The world will never be safe until Scrabble is banned 170
 
Run for cover — Pooh the Dark Knight is coming 174
 
Get another round in, lads — we've got some pubs to save 178
 
Come quick, Nurse - the NHS is going frightfully green 182
 
I dare you to visit Johannesburg, the city for softies 186
 
Class-A cocoa, the powder of choice on my crock'n'roll tour 190
 
I'm starting divorce proceedings in this special relationship 193
 
You're a bunch of overpaid nancies — and I love you 197
 
Stand still, wimp — only failures run off to be expats 201
 
It's pure hell in the mountainous Cotswold region 205
 
What a difference now I've stopped drinking fish fingers 209
 
Gordon the ass is stomping over everyone's pets 213
 
Change fast, before we all gag on the fabric of British life 217
 
Okay, you've got me bang to rights — I'm a secret green 221
 
I'll be right there, Sir Ranulph - must conquer the sofa first 225
 
Letting beavers loose in Scotland is a dam-fool idea 229
 
Say cheese, darling — I'll stick on your horse's ears later 233
 
Now there's a first — my elephant has just exploded 237
 
No, I won't wear a tiara, if it's all the same to you 241
 
I'm not superstitious, Officer, but it's bad karma to harry a druid 245
 
After three brushes with death in planes I want a parachute 249 
 
Just one word and my T-shirt offends the whole of Japan 253
 
Stop, you're digging an early grave with that garden trowel 257
 
The conquerors are coming, Pierre — we Brits need more land 261 
 
Soaking up the raw emotion of the best beetroot contest 265
 
Nurse! The OAP mods are bashing the wrinkly rockers 269
 
Dr Useless, what's the Canadian word for 'lousy care'? 273
 
It's just not fair — donkeys get all the breaks 277
 
Forget Antigua, 007 — all the real action is in Acacia Avenue 281
 
Mad Johnny Baa Lamb is here to save the pit bulls 285
 
Up to the waist in Brown's slurry on my new farm 289
 
Help, quick — I've unscrewed the top on a ticking bomb 293
 
Cleverness is no more. It has ceased to be. This is a dumb Britain 297
 
I've got a solution for the rainforest: napalm the lot 301
 
Get me a rope before Mandelson wipes us all out 305
 
Stop the game, ref. We're all too cross to play by the rules 309
 
Call me a spoilsport but I'm glad my dad wasn't a lesbian 313
 
I'm so dead — shot by both sides in the website war 317
 
Sing about the fat man again and I'll shoot Tiny Tim 321
 
The BA strike is off — so that's many a Christmas ruined 325
 
So, Piggy, Buttocks and Rat — what shall we call Gordon? 329

 

 

 
 
Характеристики
В наличност:
Да
Език
английски
Автор
Jeremy Clarkson
Издателство
Michael Joseph
Издателска група
Penguin Group
Етикети
пътешествия, забавни книги и истории
Град
London
Година
2010
Страници
332
Състояние
неизползвана книга
ЗАБЕЛЕЖКА
здрава и чиста книга в почти отлично състояние - леко захабен външен вид
Националност
английска
Корица
твърда
Формат
голям
Ширина (мм)
160
Височина (мм)
240
Дебелина (мм)
30
Тегло (гр.)
582
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